chrisbrogan.com - Latest Comments in The Plastic Human Problem

Re: The Plastic Human Problem

Dan — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 16:42:15 -0000

This is one of the most important things I have heard said in a long time.

That’s a lot of names you know from the blogs you read or the videos you watch. By “faux,” we’re real people set into a situation where in a limited niche, we’re known for something, and people check in to see what we say.

I love that line, and it is so very true.
r/d

Re: The Plastic Human Problem

Lisa Wood — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 06:14:40 -0000

Great post, Chris. I try to surround myself with people who I would still hang out with offline. It's nice to see a "big name" show their personal side - because yes, we ARE all still real people with feelings, families, struggles, etc.

Re: The Plastic Human Problem

Illya — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 03:53:08 -0000

My, it seems liek you hit a nerve with your post judging from the number of comments. I'm not an "old-timer", so maybe I haven't had as many opportunities to have such negative experiences. I managed to come into a group of online people who are very caring, and I have learned a lot from them. Netiquette and culture acceptance are at the top of the list.

On the other hand, venturing into new worlds (i.e. Second Life) on my own was a bit of a shock encountering rather seedy charachters within the first few seconds of arrival. Perhaps online people put on a mask so as to protect themselves instead of truely opening themselves to new encounters.

Re: The Plastic Human Problem

Susan Murphy — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 22:45:33 -0000

Man, how do you ever shut that mind of yours down - with all this stuff floating around in it?

Here's the funny thing about the perception of people hiding behind their online personas. I've often found that those who do so are equally as "plastic" when I have occasion to meet them in person. Perhaps the difference between the so-called "real" world and cyberspace isn't so far apart after all.

Thinking....

Re: The Plastic Human Problem

recoveringengineer — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 22:25:12 -0000

Chris,

Great thoughts and perspective. I have often lamented the behaviors of many people online. It sometimes looks as if we can hide behind our computers, locked away behind the protective walls of our homes, and throw stones at the rest of the world. Sometimes it seems that people feel safe in behaving rudely or overly aggressively in the online world (sort of like road rage?).

Like MagsMac, I like the idea of building people up rather than tearing them down. I think it's important to realize that real people with real thouhts and feelings are on the other end of our posts, comments, tweets and emails.

Thanks for the reminder. I'm enjoying your tweets and blog posts. Keep up the good work.

Re: The Plastic Human Problem

the communicatrix — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 19:00:12 -0000

Okay...frrrreaky!

I've used both of those images before--one for a blog post, the other for a preso.

Great minds, I suppose. But if my baby pix show up here...well, I just don't know, Chris...

Re: The Plastic Human Problem

Mike Pascucci — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 14:43:27 -0000

Strategies can include numerous ways to assist any launch, concerning assisting members to following the rules and guidelines. But the fact remains that you can not force everyone to read. Unless otherwise noted, most communities do not have an "experimental area" for members to test things. That is why, as others have noted above, new members need to observe and take notice as to the participation and interactions that are occurring within the Community before they simply jump in. I can not think of anything that I would do where I would jump in before I had some information to better prepare myself. If more people where to do this, many situations would be averted.
Mike

Re: The Plastic Human Problem

electricbob — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 14:30:47 -0000

Mike, I agree that moderation and facilitation are important (although most of our social media implementations today lack a lot of this), how do you implement a set of rules and, more importantly, get folks to follow them? I think this problem is compounded by the newness which for many implies experimentation, which leads to my next question: when is experimentation in social media okay and when is it out of bounds, and who makes that decision, the community? And how does that decision get made?

I think this is most critical for global systems where "we" don't share a common cultural heritage, but its bad enough when we do (as per comments in this thread).

Re: The Plastic Human Problem

Mike Pascucci — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 13:58:11 -0000

Chris,
I think that you sum this up perfectly with one of your beginning statements:
"many people misunderstand that the online representation of a person is tied to a real person, with feelings and thoughts".
Others also have some great comments about people not feeling comfortable within their own skin, not having proper social skills......
As Social Media and "Community" outreach becomes more and more mainstream, my fear is that this is going to get worse before it gets better. Initially people online within these initial communities knew one another and respected each other. Then newbies came in and disrupted the flow of communication. Now people come and go so often, they do not care what/how they say, because they can just leave and go elsewhere.
This reinforces the fact that Community strategies geared towards Management and Moderation need to be at the forefront of any Community strategy. How do you handle certain situations when people confront and threaten one another? Rules need to be established and followed consistently so that a community understands when they are out of bounds. The more visible that we can make and create appropriate and acceptable Community behaviors/morals and establish them, the better off all Community participation will be.
Mike

Re: The Plastic Human Problem

Rusty Speidel — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 13:29:23 -0000

Trust and mutual respect. They transcend all media. You have to earn it no matter what the medium. If I behave in ways that undermine your trust of me, such as hitting on strangers or calling someone out in public for fun, or blurting falsehoods with impunity, then our relationship will never blossom and I my sordid reputation will precede me.

These tools make it a lot easier to communicate, but also to act like an idiot on a grander scale. If we simply treat others online as we would wish to be treated in person, things would be terrific. Sadly, many feel that the rules don't apply to them, especially online.

Re: The Plastic Human Problem

Demian Farnworth — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 13:10:29 -0000

"How did we get angry tones to be default?" Unchecked egos. And they'll always be there. Unfortunately.

Re: The Plastic Human Problem

Doug Firebaugh — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 11:12:45 -0000

Amen- there is a learning curve in social media and when you "go over the radar" you are going to be a target for some people that may disagree with you. There is the "Jerk factor" and sometimes it kicks in and you run into a couple of those onlne. But for the most part, if the person understands that everyone has an opinion, then that is all it is- an opinion. Edification and enourangement should be the norm in social media- but sometimes it is the public arguments that get read and viewed the most. Sad but true. Great post and keen insight as usual Chris!

Re: The Plastic Human Problem

KatFrench — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 11:11:12 -0000

I remember the old BBS system from my college days, and I remember the chat rooms and discussion boards of the 90s.

I think that the deeper issue is that people in general are profoundly uncomfortable in their own skin, for reasons that would go too far afield for a blog comment. The same folks who enter an online community and interact with folks as if they're NPCs in a role playing game (great metaphor, BTW) were the folks who interacted with other kids in high school as if they were 2-dimensional secondary characters in a John Hughes movie.

Our ego has a very hard time grasping that the other people around us are living, breathing souls--not mirrors or cameras. Online or off.

Re: The Plastic Human Problem

Pixie Stevenson — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 10:12:54 -0000

Chris, it sounds like you may be stinging from criticism. I really believe it's a matter of attraction - the old "birds of a feather". I'm attracted to blogs and people that are sending out a message in a voice that I can hear.

Like I replied to David Armano, when you're visual and vocal, you're a larger target for both fans and critics alike. If you have something you're passionate about, you must voice it because you would pay a price within yourself for silence.

Re: The Plastic Human Problem

electricbob — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 09:15:21 -0000

In reading these comments, I'm reminded of something that happened to me long ago.

I was leading an engineering team porting our software to UNIX, and one of the tools we used was Lucid Emacs; unfortunately, the graphical interface didn't work on the UNIX system we were using (at the time IBM's AIX). I was new to the Internet back then (probably 1991), but I found a fellow wanderer that also used that tool (he lived in London, I was in Chicago), so we teamed up and ported the graphical system to AIX (he lisped (Emacs is written in Lisp), I did X WIndows (and old graphical interface library), so it worked out well).

We got into a public discussion about event loops - that's too technical for here, but the discussion was a formative experience for me because Richard Stallman (yea, that Richard Stallman of GNU and EFF) flamed me big time.

He lost my respect (more because he felt that kind of interaction was right), and I learned that the Internet is full of creeps just like the real world.

We put up with a lot in life and I figure dealing with creeps online is just part of all that dealing. Its not going away anytime soon.

For me, the question is how to keep from being a creep.

Re: The Plastic Human Problem

MagsMac — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 09:14:22 -0000

Really great post Chris. Sometimes I have a really hard time with Twitter and other various Social Networks because so often you see people taking such cheap shots and saying the meanest things to one another. I try to make it a rule of thumb to never say something about someone online that I wouldn't say to their face.

As big as twitter is, it is still a community and as a community we should build each other up NOT tear each other down. This is not to say that when something is wrong, it should just be ignored, but I think there are ways to handle uncomfortable situations without intentionally trying to hurt people. Why not be constructive instead?

Thanks again Chris!

Re: The Plastic Human Problem

williamarruda — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 08:59:30 -0000

Hello Chris,

As always, a great post. I am not sure about the term faux celebrity, though. A celebrity is someone who is famous or well known. What the internet (and Web 2.0) has done is enable people to be selectively famous - well-known among a specific group of people. This is the future of celebrity. We are living in the age of personal branding where we have the opportunity to build visbility among a focused target audience. That has changed the nature of celebrity. Faux implies artificial or fake - and that is not the case at all. I think those who are selectively famous are more authentic and real than those we think of as celebrities.

Best.
William
www.williamarruda.com

Re: The Plastic Human Problem

Erica — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 08:38:14 -0000

Sometimes I do forget that there are real people writing the blogs I follow, and that does allow me to be much more insensitive than I would be in person. Thank you for the reminder.

Re: The Plastic Human Problem

Michelle / chelpixie — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 08:19:14 -0000

I haven't been around the net as long but as a community manager and "host" of a somewhat close knit and rather large online community, there are a couple of things that always strike me.

1. When you join, figure out the norms of the community. Those add up to the things that you need to keep in mind in order to earn respect in the community, to build social capital if you will. If you troll, obviously you're not going to be listened to and perhaps even shut out of the community. Same applies if you walk around angry.

2. While the other person may not always agree with you, they are a human being with thoughts and feelings. Don't assume that you know best in every situation, listen, be thoughtful and treat everyone with the respect you want to garner some day.

3. Volunteer. Give to your community. No this isn't mandatory for participation and no I don't mean tweeting your "click on my junk" stuff (hat tip to
@AmberCadabra). The Twitter community doesn't consider that giving, but advertising. Take that into consideration with other social networks you become a part.

The last thing I want to say that I'm coming across more often than not lately is the faux celebrities you mention getting bashed for doing something and judged harshly. There's been an assumption that they are out for everything they can get.

This is simply NOT true. Okay there may be SOME self-absorbed people on the 'net, but most of those "celebrities are still human". Most are searching for happiness and success just like me.

If "celebrities" are held on a pedestal, of course they'll disappoint, because the raised expectations and the opinionated "things they should be doing" will crush all the things they ARE accomplishing. Something heavily on my mind given that today Obama will be sworn in.

Now I want to ran on your being realistic about time piece but I'll save that for another day. ;)

Re: The Plastic Human Problem

Eva — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 05:01:15 -0000

This was very useful to me as a beginner. I have been on the usual myspace/facebook thing but this is an entirely new way of interacting. Its also quite nervewrecking as you feel underscrutiny and exposed! I have to say I have been quite jumpy. I envy the way you Chris, and many others feel comfortable to place so much of YOURSELF & personal life online. So far I have not had the courage to do this due to my locality (NIreland is very small & also the sensitive nature of my job ) People from NIreland are alittle more cautious too in general and we are like that with each other as a result of our history I guess (not always the best quality)! All the same I am appreciating greatly the advice from you & the others in starting out & it has given me alot of courage and support.
We all have the ablity both online & offline to develop trust by what a person "puts" out regardless of the agenda. I believe you develop a "feel" for people once you have been on the virtual pathways long enough.

Re: The Plastic Human Problem

Mike Elliott — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 01:48:25 -0000

I think that anonymous online identities will continue to become increasingly irrelevant to any meaningful online dialogue. In many cases I see anonymous posters, spammers, and those spouting negativity relegated to the periphery of conversations much as one sees an annoying child sent to another room during an adult conversation. We recently launched a niche social networking site and will not activate member accounts without a real name and picture (this can be faked of course but in most cases some cross referencing on things like LinkedIn solves the problem). We are striving for quality versus quantity and while growth may be slow authentic conversations require transparency without which there is no accountability.

The biggest change I've seen in online conversations is the desire by those participants interested in learning and collaborating to be transparent and authentic. Within many of today's online communities being inauthentic sticks out like a sore thumb.

There will always be those who abuse the medium just as there will always be those who abuse the privilege of free speech. However one of the many benefits of online conversations is our ability to selectively ignore those individuals by deleting, unfollowing, blocking, etc. For those doing such things not out of malicious intent but out of ignorance of social etiquette there is some initial tolerance and willingness on the part of community members to steer them in the right direction. For the others I would say good luck in your endeavors and don't be surprised if nobody responds - it's because nobody's listening.

Re: The Plastic Human Problem

Michael fitzGerald — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 01:25:58 -0000

To summarise "In relationship terms, I’m reaching out to shake your hand and you’re trying to put your tongue in my mouth. "
I have been drinking at the waterfall of your comments and have concluded that the vivid visual story is the most efficient way of getting a point across. That's why I remember your point about trying to sell too early in a relationship. That's why Katybeths comment on your post on realistic expectations about responding to clients "where is the fire, I don’t see any smoke? with a giggle, I put down the phone and realized I could wait." stuck in my mind whereas the thousands of words from other contributors didn't.
Real people are visual and use vivid and entertaining conversation. Now we have the bandwidth why don't we see more videoblogging? and videocommenting?

Re: The Plastic Human Problem

TStrump — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 01:20:49 -0000

It's like anything in life - when you're new, you need to respect the social norms.
Once you become 'accepted' then maybe, you can get a little more daring with your interactions.
It's like this - I wouldn't tell a dirty joke at work, but with my friends, I'd have no problem!

Re: The Plastic Human Problem

Scott Germaise — Mon, 19 Jan 2009 23:31:55 -0000

My take on this is that you're right. But getting wrong. What I mean by that is that online behavior is - in my admittedly subjective opinion - getting better in a lot of ways, not worse.

Like you, I've been in this game awhile. In fact, you mentioned places like Prodigy. Which, if you used it, chances are you used something I either designed, built or managed. From the late 80s' through the 90s as the 'great unwashed' somehow managed to find the "Any Key" and bumble their way online, their newbie behavior was often the equivalent of no shirt or shoes, which is a bit trashy even at the 7-11.

Now, however, online is essentially ambient. While there are still very late adopters coming online, they seem to approach with a bit more trepidation and care. Therefore, the problem that exists now is different then newbies. And you point out some of them in what you classify as Trolls, Stone-Throwers, and Faux Celebrities. Part of the answer will be more closed communities and tools for managing such entities. Even if they're a very small proportion of the online population, like any single-issue person or public they can have an outsized impact. Personally, I think we're just at the very beginning of online community right now. (I say that as a long time industry vet from Prodigy, to About.com to others.) This early period of truly ambient online experience will take some time to get used to. And it will take some time for personal and group controls to come into play ot limit the damage of fools and their followers. But it will happen. It has to happen. Very little humans ever do together grows or thrives without some kind of cooperation; be it though enforceable rules, or at least social norms. There are already plenty of thriving and successful online communities that have such norms established and mechanisms to maintain them. More will follow.

None of what I've said is meant to say their won't be thieves, con artists and worse using online tools to bad purpose. And yes, online does enable some such behaviors that had no prior means to implement bad acts. But for the most part, this behavior isn't any more prevalent online then offline. It's just more visible.

Re: The Plastic Human Problem

Bill — Mon, 19 Jan 2009 23:21:20 -0000

This article came at just the right time Chris to help reinforce some thoughts I had earlier today as I was working on publishing a 7 article series about some things I had learned about social media/networks/interaction etc. I linked to a few of your past articles in that regard.

There are two things I see that really enhance and make social media and this paradigm shift what it truly can be: Bringing Value to the relationships we are in and being Genuine and yourself in them. Works like a charm both online and offline.