A wise friend once taught me the secret to this triage -Yes, it's Chris- Look at Calories In, Calories Out as a metaphor. Do the projects and deal with friends where it's mutual- the people who make you feel energized, not drained. I'm willing to help friends as much as possible, with no real thought of return, but I am not an endless supply of time and energy either- depends on the request, and when it's asked. Not all returns will be immediate- I don't look at friendships in ROI terms. I do look at evaluating things carefully with people who are needy, though, and we all know people like that. And it's why my secret kryptonite, my anti-superpower, if you will, is being shy about asking questions sometimes and overtaxing my already busy new media friends.
There's a ton of stuff you can easily outsource- Get kids to help with the laundry and household chores- even fetching hangers or matching socks. They love helping, and less work for you. Figure out if having the kid down the street mow the yard for $20 saves you time, energy and grief making it really worth the investment. There are tons of ways to outsource time drainers that have little emotional or psychic return.
fallenrogue
· 2 years ago
I say no as early and as often as possible. :)
annie boccio
· 2 years ago
Great points about hobbies and busy work. I'm working on that now, simplifying and cutting back. I've prioritized personal projects I'd like to do so I'm doing one at a time, and if I don't get to the lower-priority ones, so be it. And guess what? I'm making much better progress with the ones at the top of the list.
I learnt the power of "no" a long long time ago. Sure you will piss people off, sure you can be seen as black sheep material, but ultimately you'll have more food on your family's table. You can also look people square in the eyes if you say no when you genuinely feel it.
If you can't operate at your effective best, do not be a pawn, say no.
"they tried to make me go to rehab, I said no, no no" - Amy Winehouse
Lance Weber
· 2 years ago
When you do decide not to say no, leverage the power of the Limited Yes. Whenever possible, decide how much time you are willing to invest and then explicitly communicate that!
Example To Friend: "I can probably squeeze about four hours into helping you with your website, that should be enough to get you started".
Example To Self: "I'm going to read for one hour, then it's back to the salt mine."
The power of the Limited Yes versus the open-ended "Sure, I can help" is an amazing tool.
Jason Pettus
· 2 years ago
Amen to this entry! I had two more thoughts concerning the subject as well that I thought I'd share:
1) Just a couple of weeks ago I decided to try an "all productive day," where I tried to skip all the things like television and screwing around online that all of us do throughout a typical day. I was really surprised to learn, in fact, how much of this kind of stuff takes up my typical day -- hours and hours sometimes, which I had never realized. You'd be surprised how much more you can get done just from simple things like turning off the TV if it's a rerun, etc.
2) As far as time-consuming but necessary busy work, I find that the old standby of grouping them all together can help tremendously; an uninterrupted block of an hour or two, I've found, can help with getting all such chores simply finished and over, versus them stretching on and on throughout the day (and looming in the back of your head, the more dangerous problem as far as time-management).
All Comments
-Jeff
http://blog.zemote.com
Do the projects and deal with friends where it's mutual- the people who make you feel energized, not drained. I'm willing to help friends as much as possible, with no real thought of return, but I am not an endless supply of time and energy either- depends on the request, and when it's asked.
Not all returns will be immediate- I don't look at friendships in ROI terms. I do look at evaluating things carefully with people who are needy, though, and we all know people like that. And it's why my secret kryptonite, my anti-superpower, if you will, is being shy about asking questions sometimes and overtaxing my already busy new media friends.
There's a ton of stuff you can easily outsource- Get kids to help with the laundry and household chores- even fetching hangers or matching socks. They love helping, and less work for you. Figure out if having the kid down the street mow the yard for $20 saves you time, energy and grief making it really worth the investment. There are tons of ways to outsource time drainers that have little emotional or psychic return.
I wrote on the topic of saying no here:
http://banannie.com/blog/2007/05/10/productivit...
If you can't operate at your effective best, do not be a pawn, say no.
"they tried to make me go to rehab, I said no, no no" - Amy Winehouse
Example To Friend: "I can probably squeeze about four hours into helping you with your website, that should be enough to get you started".
Example To Self: "I'm going to read for one hour, then it's back to the salt mine."
The power of the Limited Yes versus the open-ended "Sure, I can help" is an amazing tool.
1) Just a couple of weeks ago I decided to try an "all productive day," where I tried to skip all the things like television and screwing around online that all of us do throughout a typical day. I was really surprised to learn, in fact, how much of this kind of stuff takes up my typical day -- hours and hours sometimes, which I had never realized. You'd be surprised how much more you can get done just from simple things like turning off the TV if it's a rerun, etc.
2) As far as time-consuming but necessary busy work, I find that the old standby of grouping them all together can help tremendously; an uninterrupted block of an hour or two, I've found, can help with getting all such chores simply finished and over, versus them stretching on and on throughout the day (and looming in the back of your head, the more dangerous problem as far as time-management).