chrisbrogan.com - Latest Comments in Saying No

Re: Saying No

youtube downloader — Tue, 07 Dec 2010 06:23:02 -0000

This morning, I sent notes to several people I respect and admire telling them that I had to back out of a commitment. I know that they will be disappointed. And yet, I think they’d hate it more if I put them in a rough spot closer to their deadline.

Re: Saying No

Flora Morris Brown, Ph.D. — Fri, 09 May 2008 15:49:36 -0000

Congratulations for taking this stand on saying "no" and setting priorities. It's not only the way to get things done that you value, but also the only way to be happy. Other people have no limit to the number of things and responsibilities they will dump on you. Many of those things are FOR them and should be done BY them.

Not long ago I wrote a post with the message that happiness comes from learning to say no to others and yes to yourself.

Thanks for making this important point.

Re: Saying No

chrisbrogan — Thu, 08 May 2008 07:42:33 -0000

You guys are all so great. Thank you for your thoughts and sentiments. I'm grateful for friends like you, and excited about what I'll be able to do once I get just a little more clutter off my plate.

Re: Saying No

david usher — Thu, 08 May 2008 05:51:17 -0000

hey chris
time seems to be a reoccurring theme online these days. as our web lives get more cluttered with 'conversation' its becoming more and more important to be really clear on ones priorities. i know in my own life i am often having to set boundaries on my cell, the web and social media. of course it 5:48am and im commenting to you so...damn, time for coffee and a book:)
cheers

Re: Saying No

Hannah — Thu, 08 May 2008 01:49:13 -0000

Excellent Post. Actually, just today my PR mentor was imparting to me the value of setting healthy boundaries. In the world of social media, which is active 24-7, boundaries are even harder to define.

Re: Saying No

Connie Bensen — Wed, 07 May 2008 22:35:27 -0000

Hey Chris,
We all need to step back & assess where we've been, where we're at & where we're going.

If you ever want a guest post on community building let me know & I'd be glad to help! Even on a regular basis... if that would help you spend an extra hour or two with your family.

My daughter is in college & I now regret the priority I put on work when she was younger. But with an empty nest I now have time to help if you'd like?

Re: Saying No

Mother Earth — Wed, 07 May 2008 21:41:44 -0000

I think it takes courage to say no, when someone mentioned that to me - I felt proud for choosing. Especially when the choices were moving me forward with my work and family goals.

Re: Saying No

Michael Schneider — Wed, 07 May 2008 19:15:34 -0000

Chris, I really like your tone here.

I especially like the way that your posts and tweets remind me that work is not what defines me.

By the way, could you take a look at... kidding!

Re: Saying No

Wendy Bigham — Wed, 07 May 2008 14:30:22 -0000

What resource did you find on the flight from Houston?

Re: Saying No

john blue — Wed, 07 May 2008 13:43:29 -0000

Thanks for the note Chris. This is why there is a market for self help books, tools to get things done, groups to join to share, etc. because of the human nature of being curious and wanting to pursue that next cool thing. People get overwhelmed and want help!

Re: Saying No

Myanmar Delta - Lissie — Wed, 07 May 2008 10:41:49 -0000

It used to be women who were always accused of not saying "no" so as a woman and an internet marketer I must be doubly vulnerable. In the end I guess its all about prioritisation. I as actually forced to sit down the other day and write down some business goals - now if the item doesn't contribute to the goal its not happening!

Re: Saying No

Leo Bottary — Wed, 07 May 2008 09:54:40 -0000

Chris, nicely done. I posted about it on my blog today in an entry titled REFLECTION:

Chris Brogan drafted a post today titled, Saying No. It could have just as easily been called Reflection. The post speaks to the difficulty many of us have in saying no and facing the realization that we only have so much bandwidth - that saying yes to everyone doesn't help anyone if we can't devote the time and energy necessary to doing a great job. But his post goes further than that, and it's a fitting follow-up to yesterday's entry on core values.

Chris doesn't stop at saying no, but walks us through a reassessment of his priorities and values. It's not only something we should contemplate as organizations, as I suggested yesterday, but it's a powerful individual exercise that can help us achieve true balance, even harmony, in our personal and professional lives.

Thanks for the reminder!

Re: Saying No

Troy Rutter — Wed, 07 May 2008 09:15:15 -0000

Well said, Chris - just don't be a stranger!

Re: Saying No

Marina Martin — Wed, 07 May 2008 02:09:06 -0000

Good for you, Chris! Saying yes to everything means you just can't do any of them to the best of your ability, and I think one of life's greatest satisfaction is seeing your own project through to completion at a high level.

Merlin Mann has a very strict rule that any "to check out" requests are sent to him via del.icio.us and that he won't respond to them sent any other way. Maybe if you tweaked your contact page a bit to filter inquiries at the start, it could help you to organize some of the flow better. If I want your input on something, the least I can do is present it to you in the way you most prefer.

Re: Saying No

Wendi Kelly — Tue, 06 May 2008 17:25:38 -0000

Chris,
I echo Joanna, saying no is sometimes the strongest yes, because it helps us to focus on the truly important rather that the seemingly urgent (Covey)

Straight up from here when you get that one figured out.

Good luck.

Re: Saying No

erwin blom — Tue, 06 May 2008 17:23:25 -0000

I hope to read a lot in the future from my favorite blogger! Thanx man!

Re: Saying No

Glenda Watson Hyatt — Tue, 06 May 2008 16:54:32 -0000

Chris, I can appreciate how difficult it is to say no, especially these days when there are exciting opportunities around every corner. But, I am realizing by saying yes to everything you're giving less of yourself but to more people, and nothing gets done effectively. Prioritizing allows you to give more, which you do so freely. No doesn't necessary need mean never, but rather "not at this time".

Good on you for going through this process. Work smarter, not harder.

All the best.

Re: Saying No

chrisbrogan — Tue, 06 May 2008 16:49:24 -0000

I should clarify that my blog continues to be a priority and I'll keep writing on it as I can.

It's more the 290 emails out of 400 each day that are requests to do something or look at something or promote something or work on something for free, or for pay, etc. Those have to get prioritized and dealt with.

I'm still here. : )

Thanks for your thoughts, everyone. You're clearly in a similar spot.

Wait til you see what I found on the plane ride down to Houston. Found a great resource to share with you all.

Re: Saying No

Derek — Tue, 06 May 2008 15:46:31 -0000

Saying no can be a very difficult thing to do but you are certainly looking at it with a great approach. First and foremost, you need to make sure that you are taking care of the things that are important to you.

I've been guilty of that myself since I started blogging as I try to establish myself. However, when I step back and think about the fact that one of the reasons that I am doing this is to better provide for my family it makes you realize that saying no to your family is doing them more harm.

After just hearing you speak at SOBCon, I am new to reading your wisdom; and while it is disappointing to hear that we might not get as much of you, it is for a good reason.

Re: Saying No

Jennifer — Tue, 06 May 2008 12:48:01 -0000

I admire you sharing your thoughts here for I have a lot of projects on my plate now and like you, I have my priorities on those projects.

Pleasing others is what some of us hope to achieve but we have to think in the long run, how will it benefit you? Will it take time away from your overall agenda? Will that person give you the time that you also invest in them?

Thanks always for your honesty. This is why I follow you on Twitter because you are sincere with your audience. That means a lot to us.

Re: Saying No

Amanda MacArthur — Tue, 06 May 2008 11:05:15 -0000

Ps. I just bought "Ready for Anything" on audiobook as well, so maybe soon I'll be on the prioritization train soon too :)

Re: Saying No

Amanda MacArthur — Tue, 06 May 2008 11:02:55 -0000

I really liked "Getting Things Done" as well. I haven't put it to action yet like you have though, so props to that! It always feels good to lay out EVERYTHING you have to do and make priorities.

Re: Saying No

Whitney — Tue, 06 May 2008 10:17:52 -0000

Great Post, Chris, and I know how hard this is, juggling my blog, podcast, family, teaching, Podcamp, and everything else I want to/need to do. And I'm learning it's okay to take a break an recharge the batteries too. The problem with being able to be connected 24 by 7 is also learning when NOT to be connected as well. (And differentiating the needs and wants is important.)

My mom always used the "my cup runneth over" analogy with me- the abundance is what you can share with others- you cannot share if your own cup is empty, so you need to make sure you take care of yourself first.

Re: Saying No

marshal sandler — Tue, 06 May 2008 09:47:13 -0000

Writing a book will force you to further collect your thoughts and solidify your goals !

Re: Saying No

Alan Whitney — Tue, 06 May 2008 09:37:31 -0000

It's tough to say no sometimes but it has to be done much more often than most people think. Sometimes saying no is the nicest thing a person can do.