Here's one I use when I find myself in a conversation with people I am already comfortable with:
When in the usual '3-4 people standing in a rough circle' discussion mode, open up your position in the group so it allows others to join the circle. Even if they are just passing or trying to get to the other side of the room, they may know someone in the circle and will join in for a few minutes. I'm not saying plant a foot in front of them and lay a pick on them, but relax your stance and turn your shoulders to allow room in the circle. This is a pretty easy way to increase the people you meet while speaking with those you are more comfortable with.
Connie Bensen
· 2 years ago
Great post filled with lots of excellent ideas. I will be referring back to this because public speaking to a group is very easy, but the mingling causes more of a challenge. Thanks for the great tips!
Lynette
· 2 years ago
I *love* your suggestion for the business cards. My husband just came back from a conference, and every card he had in his pile had meaning, or needed a followup, or had VALUE. It's the same for the cards he hands out. Unlike when the cards get shoved in your hand drive-by style and you have no idea why you should keep in touch with that person, or even care. Those cards we treat pretty much as advertising, not networking.
My husband and I are both active in-person networkers, and when someone has to make the jump from online to face/face, it's an entirely new set of etiquette. Great post Chris!
seth
· 2 years ago
This is great Chris. Thanks! You may have just convinced me to get over my anxieties and go to PodCamp next month. Also, not to plug bad habits, but I find having a drink first helps. Just one though!
Britt Raybould
· 2 years ago
I'd add one thing---be aware that everyone else at the party is probably feeling a similar level of uncertainty. When you find yourself in a room with a bunch of people who normally communicate via monitor and keyboard, the in-person byplay can feel foreign, regardless of your confidence level. In essence, you're all feeling awkward together. Think of it like the first day of kindergarten. Most people are actually excited to meet new people (in theory) or they wouldn't be at the gathering.
Bryan Person, Bryper.com
· 2 years ago
Were you writing this *while* you were at the breakfast? Amazing. Good to have you here today, Chris.
Sarah Wurrey
· 2 years ago
I was going to ask the same thing as Bryan, haha. Good to meet you in person this morning, what a fun event.
Helpful hints, but I admit to chortling somewhat at the "practice small talk" bit--perhaps because I can't imagine being at a loss for words. But then again, I suppose not everyone is as (obnoxious) chatty as me.
chrisbrogan
· 2 years ago
@Brad - very cool. The body language thing resonates with me well.
@Connie - mingling requires lots of fast interactions, and that can be scary. Having a little prep out of the way helps that.
@Lynette - you and your husband left a very good impression with me, so you're clearly top shelf networkers. Glad you liked the business card idea.
@Seth - come to PodCamp. There will be plenty of people dealing with the same anxiety. We'll share some tricks right onsight. Promise. (And a little liquid courage can't hurt, unless you've got a drinking problem. : ) )
@Britt - Kindergarten. That makes so much sense. Big fat crayons and all. I get it. Huh, that really puts it in perspective.
@Bryper - no. I didn't even twitter. Great event.
@Sarah - but even chatting people up becomes an interesting experience, should you suddenly realize some people are doing business versus just being social. It changes your sense of things.
Great conversation, guys. Thank you!
JohnC
· 2 years ago
My rule: Never lead with your candy bar story... hehehe.
Dave Evans
· 2 years ago
As the cheery gentleman on the right, I had to say hello and commend you on some great power-networking reminders.
Jon Ray
· 2 years ago
I usually hit the bar first and then try my luck at bad pickup lines. If that doesn't work, I turn to politics.
I'm a big hit a parties. :)
-jonray
P.S. But seriously, all good advice above. When I'm nervous at a conference, I usually just find the one person that's more nervous than me and start talking to them. It's amazing how much better you feel after getting that first person under you belt. I suppose it's like earning your first million. I wouldn't know.
Chris, tell us what it's like to be rich, won't you? :)
All Comments
When in the usual '3-4 people standing in a rough circle' discussion mode, open up your position in the group so it allows others to join the circle. Even if they are just passing or trying to get to the other side of the room, they may know someone in the circle and will join in for a few minutes. I'm not saying plant a foot in front of them and lay a pick on them, but relax your stance and turn your shoulders to allow room in the circle. This is a pretty easy way to increase the people you meet while speaking with those you are more comfortable with.
Thanks for the great tips!
My husband and I are both active in-person networkers, and when someone has to make the jump from online to face/face, it's an entirely new set of etiquette. Great post Chris!
Helpful hints, but I admit to chortling somewhat at the "practice small talk" bit--perhaps because I can't imagine being at a loss for words. But then again, I suppose not everyone is as (obnoxious) chatty as me.
@Connie - mingling requires lots of fast interactions, and that can be scary. Having a little prep out of the way helps that.
@Lynette - you and your husband left a very good impression with me, so you're clearly top shelf networkers. Glad you liked the business card idea.
@Seth - come to PodCamp. There will be plenty of people dealing with the same anxiety. We'll share some tricks right onsight. Promise. (And a little liquid courage can't hurt, unless you've got a drinking problem. : ) )
@Britt - Kindergarten. That makes so much sense. Big fat crayons and all. I get it. Huh, that really puts it in perspective.
@Bryper - no. I didn't even twitter. Great event.
@Sarah - but even chatting people up becomes an interesting experience, should you suddenly realize some people are doing business versus just being social. It changes your sense of things.
Great conversation, guys. Thank you!
I'm a big hit a parties. :)
-jonray
P.S. But seriously, all good advice above. When I'm nervous at a conference, I usually just find the one person that's more nervous than me and start talking to them. It's amazing how much better you feel after getting that first person under you belt. I suppose it's like earning your first million. I wouldn't know.
Chris, tell us what it's like to be rich, won't you? :)