Well said Chris. Your point that really hit home for me was accepting that something has happened and then taking appropriate action. I think this is especially important when a situation just absolutely smacks you down or drives you straight into Pity City (paraphrasing @Retirepreneur). My action was to seek the advice of people that I really trusted and knew they wouldn't blow me any smoke on how I should plan my next moves.
This was incredibly important because I was in a situation at work that drove me to Pity City. My trusted set of friends helped me sort things out and even more importantly gave me concrete advice on how to navigate a politically sensitive situation. Their trusted advice is why I was able to successfully "drive out" of Pity City. On some days, that drive literally seemed like one block at a time. But even on those days, I knew I was on the right path because I knew I was implementing sound advice from people that cared about me.
Ricardo Nunez
· 1 month ago
This is the kind of videos that really tell who you are, a person who really care for people. Thank you for this video. Have a nice weekend and a Happy Halloween
Allisoncds
· 1 month ago
I love this Chris. It hits home. Two "tactics" to escape the pity party mindset that I've found helpful: 1. Get into your heard and out of the emotion. Consciously direct your mind/thoughts towards something else that requires your undivided attention to jump in and engage. (Got into a philosophical discussion w/a guy on Twitter last night that made me completely forget about pity party inclinations.) 2. Get creative. Force yourself to create something. For me, it's writing and processing ideas - a myriad of ideas that simmer on many a back burner when my emotions pull me into the pity party.
Appreciate you touching on this topic. Today I'll be partying, just not the "pity" type. ;)
HarrisonPainter
· 1 month ago
Could not agree more! --> It is all about mindset!
LOVE IT!
Harrison
Eileen Calandro
· 1 month ago
Fantastic advice! Not just "do something", but "do something for someone else and show how you can make a difference". Thank you Chris, for reminding us that when we're down, the best way out is to help others.This ties in so well with our own family Credo. As always, thanks for all you do!
Kathy Nicholls
· 1 month ago
Great video and so much truth to it. Thanks for sharing it!
David Turnbull
· 1 month ago
I definitely have these pity parties somewhat regularly. But that's why when I'm feeling good I just try to pump out as much as humanly possible. I figure I do all the creative work in my up time, and in my down time I just take care of things like editing which don't require as much brain power.
And I always try to have something coming up "next" whether it's a guest post waiting to be published, or a post I've written that I feel could be well received. In that way there's always a hint of possibility, and that helps me feel optimistic. :)
Side note: Thanks Chris for responding to those interview questions. They're going up on my blog on Monday. :)
Nick Johnson
· 1 month ago
It is what it is and you're in it when you're in it. But when you're rockin, you're rockin!! like my good friend Harrison Painter says, LOVE IT!
newmediajim
· 1 month ago
have you heard of 29 Gifts? Ties into the notion of getting out of your funk by thinking of others.
Patrenia
· 1 month ago
Thanks Chris for the nudge. I have really enjoyed this entire series.
Donna Kastner/Retirepreneur
· 1 month ago
YES - another excellent update. Loved the idea of reaching out and helping someone else to get out of pity party.
A favorite line from a mentor of mine - "You can visit Pity City, but you can't live there."
thomsinger
· 1 month ago
One fringe benefit of actively networking often... seeking out new people and finding real ways to connect with them, and help them (not just trying to network so people will help you) is that it can expose you to all kinds of new people. Interacting with other humans can not only be fun, interesting, and inspiring --- but it can keep you from having the routine and boredom that lead to feeling sorry for yourself. I have found that when I am interested in other people and what makes them tick (and unique ways they find success) i am not focused on my own areas that are not clicking as fast as I want them to. People always have excuses (like I am too busy) to NOT network.... but it is not just about shaking hands and trading business cards. When done right it keeps you motivated to find ways to reach the stars.
alanweinkrantz
· 1 month ago
Chris, my friends @nanpalmero and @erikdarm from http://www.salesby5.com has an amazing Pity Party every Friday about 4 PM at their offices.
Yeah Gotta crash your own pity party sometimes and snap out of it. Such a great post :)
melaniemorris
· 1 month ago
One of the things I love the most about your work and your message is that you remind us it's all about the basics. It's not complicated what makes one successful. It's the basics: the right attitude, good work ethic, seek to serve.
Thanks for breaking it down into the basics and reminding us to keep that focus.
Derek Markham
· 1 month ago
Thanks for the great reminder! These videos, as short as they are, always leave me with something to think about and work on.
bkjrecruiter
· 1 month ago
Thanks Chris! Great video... Creating a "state" (mindset) is key in moving out of a "pity party"... Your idea of donating, or volunteering is wonderful! I can say without hesitation/that is precisley the way I get out of my own "funks"....
Ken Montville
· 1 month ago
Pity parties are the worst. However, they are also the easiest parties to throw. Sometimes it's really not that easy to jump out of them. If only......
Of course, there's always Jack Daniels. :-)
a.misri (the elder)
· 1 month ago
SO TRUE, Brogan, I had a pity DAY last week... noticed around noon that I was looking haggard and whining to people about workload, decided to lock myself in my office and refocus. Sometimes you have to do that. Focus on successes, focus on your TEAM'S successes, change how things are working, stop whining, pick one of your 30 projects and NAIL that one. Create something to feel good about. Good advice, Chris, as always, and my favorite Overnight Success story because everyone goes through a Pity Party once in a while.
Jezra Kaye
· 1 month ago
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Suzanne Vara
· 1 month ago
Ah the pity party that we all go to because it is easy to go to. I go there and then shake my head about it as there is so much more that others do not have that I do and I am crying? In many ways we are innately selfish and feel deserving. Deserving of what? We do not deserve, we earn. In that holding zone of trying to earn, we see others doing better and feel we deserve so we pity party. I am at times a repeat offender.
What gets me out of the pity party? My son who is 4. Andrew is learning life and is that what I want to teach him that we give up? Yeah no. We do our best and sometimes there are people better but we champion them and learn from them. I also go to @kahuna75 as his food videos are to me so entertaining probably since I remember him since the 4th grade.
A pity party is self induced and quitting. Albeit there are folks out there who are trying to get jobs and cannot and pity parties/discouragement is valid but there is no chance that success will happen when you are on a downer. Think like a winner and you will be one (it may take time but a few get riding a bike the first time without training wheels). Confidence comes from within but so does pity parties. We create it and let it consume us.
Suz
Rob Babiak
· 1 month ago
Great video. Thanks for sharing. I think sometimes it is hard to realize you are having a pitty party and even harder to move on from a pitty party. I like your tips on how to move forward. Thanks
partywedo
· 1 month ago
Our youngest daughter, her husband and a grandson live in Concord, NH, just up the road from Manchester...
Now I am in a pity party about not seeing them for a while... I am getting on Skype this morning and getting out of the funk, by visiting with them!
I never could see how Pity and Party would go together very well...
Steve G Johnson
· 1 month ago
Oh yes, the pity party. These used to be a favorite of mine. My wife was really good (and still is) at getting me out of these parties. I have these parties every now and then, but not as much as I used to. When I do, I make every attempt to get myself out.
Never would have thought that you would have pity parties. I used to think I was the only one.
Deb
· 1 month ago
As always, wise words. Thanks for all your hard work and sharing.
Speaking of your newsletter, I signed up for it months ago and am not receiving it. Hate to be missing out on all the good stuff.
Robyn Cobb
· 1 month ago
Really diggin this Overnight Success Series. Great advice in this post, feel it and move on...pity's not a stopping point. Thanks, Chris and keep it coming!
Christian Russell
· 1 month ago
100% agreed. Self-pity is natural and should not be catastrophized. Is that a word? In other words, feel it...but don't kick yourself when you're down. Realize it's natural. Everyone feels this stuff. Then go do something constructive. You're absolutely hit the nail on the head when you said the trick is not to not feel self-pity...but to get out of it quickly. Getting back on track quickly is what's key.
Christine Green
· 1 month ago
I advise my coaching clients to allow themselves to wallow however intensely they need to, but with a time limit. It might be 10 minutes, 2 hours or whatever....then it's time to get on their grown-up game and take the next step to get where they want to be. It seems to work well to give ourselves permission to drop into the depths of the muck, kick and scream, and then get over it.
RiverwoodWriter
· 1 month ago
Another zinger, Chris...thank you for this fantastic series.
George Passwater
· 1 month ago
Another great video Chris.
It's all about mindset and what you do when something gets in your way. Yeah, I have been through the pitty parties but I know what the end goal is and I focus on that.
As a parent, I tell my children to never give up; this is what we should look at as well. By focusing on our goal and never giving up, we can make ourselves a success.
Fruitfulvine2
· 1 month ago
I was seriously about to throw a pity party on Thursday. I came home from a ladies retreat to find that the two days I was away my daily hits went way way way down. It's not like there were no posts on those day. I had scheduled posts go out as well as a guest post. And I was sorely tempted to throw in the towel. I'm not giving up but it sure was a blow to my 'ego' on Thursday.
accessoires photo
· 1 month ago
This is so true, Chris. It's amazing how we often look at the few things that go wrong and neglect the hundreds of things that went right in every day we live. Enjoying the series.
Dave Soucy
· 4 weeks ago
Great series Chris. Ashamed to admit I'm a month behind on these, but I'm catching up on all of them tonight. Your points are all right on the money.
~Dave ps - my office is about 3 minutes from that hotel you were in. What were you doing in Manchester?
matériel informatique
· 4 weeks ago
This is so true, Chris. It's amazing how we often look at the few things that go wrong and neglect the hundreds of things that went right in every day we live. Enjoying the series.
All Comments
This was incredibly important because I was in a situation at work that drove me to Pity City. My trusted set of friends helped me sort things out and even more importantly gave me concrete advice on how to navigate a politically sensitive situation. Their trusted advice is why I was able to successfully "drive out" of Pity City. On some days, that drive literally seemed like one block at a time. But even on those days, I knew I was on the right path because I knew I was implementing sound advice from people that cared about me.
Two "tactics" to escape the pity party mindset that I've found helpful:
1. Get into your heard and out of the emotion. Consciously direct your mind/thoughts towards something else that requires your undivided attention to jump in and engage. (Got into a philosophical discussion w/a guy on Twitter last night that made me completely forget about pity party inclinations.)
2. Get creative. Force yourself to create something. For me, it's writing and processing ideas - a myriad of ideas that simmer on many a back burner when my emotions pull me into the pity party.
Appreciate you touching on this topic. Today I'll be partying, just not the "pity" type. ;)
LOVE IT!
Harrison
And I always try to have something coming up "next" whether it's a guest post waiting to be published, or a post I've written that I feel could be well received. In that way there's always a hint of possibility, and that helps me feel optimistic. :)
Side note: Thanks Chris for responding to those interview questions. They're going up on my blog on Monday. :)
A favorite line from a mentor of mine - "You can visit Pity City, but you can't live there."
See: http://pearanalytics.com/blog/2009/recession-sp...
Thanks for breaking it down into the basics and reminding us to keep that focus.
Of course, there's always Jack Daniels. :-)
What gets me out of the pity party? My son who is 4. Andrew is learning life and is that what I want to teach him that we give up? Yeah no. We do our best and sometimes there are people better but we champion them and learn from them. I also go to @kahuna75 as his food videos are to me so entertaining probably since I remember him since the 4th grade.
A pity party is self induced and quitting. Albeit there are folks out there who are trying to get jobs and cannot and pity parties/discouragement is valid but there is no chance that success will happen when you are on a downer. Think like a winner and you will be one (it may take time but a few get riding a bike the first time without training wheels). Confidence comes from within but so does pity parties. We create it and let it consume us.
Suz
Now I am in a pity party about not seeing them for a while... I am getting on Skype this morning and getting out of the funk, by visiting with them!
I never could see how Pity and Party would go together very well...
Never would have thought that you would have pity parties. I used to think I was the only one.
Speaking of your newsletter, I signed up for it months ago and am not receiving it. Hate to be missing out on all the good stuff.
It's all about mindset and what you do when something gets in your way. Yeah, I have been through the pitty parties but I know what the end goal is and I focus on that.
As a parent, I tell my children to never give up; this is what we should look at as well. By focusing on our goal and never giving up, we can make ourselves a success.
~Dave
ps - my office is about 3 minutes from that hotel you were in. What were you doing in Manchester?