I don't mean wear a silly tie or tell racist jokes. I mean be someone I want to remember. You can do that by being knowledgeable, or funny, or charming, or a combination of all of the above.
I'm talking to people because I want to meet people I want to work with. If I want to work with you, it means I want to spend part of my exceedingly busy life with you.
Be someone worth my time. Be memorable.
Len
· 2 years ago
When I'm wandering into a big crowd I say a little prayer to my higher power that I'll be led to someone I'm meant to meet. I sort of believe such prayers are answered, but it doesn't matter. After saying the prayer, I naturally find myself treating the next person I meet as if we had been guided together by big forces. And that makes me open up to them in a way that maximizes the chance that we WILL find a common connection of value to both of us.
Jim Shireman
· 2 years ago
And always, always, have Advil with you. Long (and often alcohol driven) meet-ups inevitably end in headaches...being the man (or having the wife) with the cure will make you quite popular in a hurry. And I'm only half kidding
Jeremy Pepper
· 2 years ago
Coffee's for closers.
Oh, sorry - wrong thread.
It's about being memorable. People remember me, and I have a good enough memory to remember them. Plus, I cheat and write down stuff about them on the card, if I need to jog my memory.
eric : gardenfork.tv
· 2 years ago
i usually hand my card to people as i say my name, -which can be hard to pronounce- and my card has a picture of my dog and horse on it. that usually elicits some sort of comment that opens into a conversation about people's own dog - horse stories. and thru this you both will learn - thru thoses social clues - whether you have more to talk about.
SpaceyG
· 2 years ago
I think, Chris Brogan, you are not only gregarious, prolific, ubiquitous, kind-hearted and socially-minded, but you must also have, simply, a photographic memory. That, or never smoked as much weed as I once did!
Heidi Miller
· 2 years ago
Chris, I think the most important thing you said it that it's all about THEM. We spend so much time practicing our twenty-second pitch that we forget to listen and have fun. The idea of being temporarily "in love" with the person you're talking to really comes through in your practice--has anyone here ever NOT felt like they were the center of Chris' universe for the 15 minutes or whatever they were talking?
Listen, listen, listen! Find the passion and listen. Keep asking questions until you click, and the conversation will run off on its own.
SpaceyG
· 2 years ago
Now that I think about it, weed was always one of THE best networking tools I used to use. Emphasis on "used to."
Nowadays, I just smile and nod a lot, at first. Then I talk 'em into a stupor, but about things THEY bring up so I'll know they like hearing the sound of MY voice since it's a least rapping about something THEY like.
Actually, most of the time, I'm just darn happy as a pig in sh*t to be outta the house and meeting new people. People are infinately fascinating, as long as you don't have to take 'em home with you that is.
Whitney
· 2 years ago
Julien and I (in your absence.. sniff...) spoke about this at PodCamp NYC. A business card is only a memory aid, a tool to prevent you from looking in your pockets for pencil and paper. You have to be authentic in order to build relationships; even if you have to move on for real reasons, like your ride is leaving or you'll miss your plane, just say so, excuse yourself politely, and then try to reconnect later.
Business cards are not baseball cards, where it's all about collecting them; it is only a tool, so rather than sticking a hammer into someone's face, wait until you get to a point in the conversation where exchange of information seems natural and important, and use them then to avoid digging for pens.
chrisbrogan
· 2 years ago
These are great ideas. I'm enjoying hearing from some of the most social, wonderful people I know. It's great the the most networky people I know jumped on this first. And the list represents a whole lot of disciplines. PR, video production, journalism, spokesperson. Wow!
I'm a lucky guy knowing all of you. I'm aware of that today. Very.
Thank you.
Cameron
· 2 years ago
Any where there is a flurry of cards, I use the pocket system. Front pocket for people I "connect" with and the back pocket for the rest. Sometimes the system does not work due to a few too many glasses of red wine. So the following day I sort into one follow up pile and one no mans land pile. Chris do you remember what pocket I used for you? ;)
Jeff O'Hara
· 2 years ago
I'm fairly new to the whole networking at events thing. It never really mattered because I have had the same employer for 8 years and didn't have the motive/desire to move on. Now that I am working on building a company I am getting much more focused on networking. One thing I would like to add as that if your in a conversation with somebody try and figure out what you can do for them at that exact time, If the person is low on a drink, ask them if you can get a them a drink while they talk to you. This works especially well if your t an event with an open bar :) A bit cheaper too. Just this simple task being may make an a huge impact on them.
john blue
· 2 years ago
Best networking tip? Hum. Be choosy about the events you attend.
The people that attend are really there to learn and truely share. They are energized! They have cool ideas. And it's fun:)
The events I disslike: chamber of commerce meetings. It's all about the business pitch, the product, the need to get people to buy buy buy. I don't go any more.
John
Jon
· 2 years ago
I don't have anything to add but I did want to say that I found this article very helpful.
And I'm especially pleased to see being genuine emphasized. I don't think you can underscore that too much, whether it's considered a given or not.
-Jon
laura15SecondPitch
· 2 years ago
I agree whole-heartedly with everything you say here. I'd add that I think you can pitch yourself energetically and enthusiastically without coming off like an ass. A great example of this is a woman, Grace Piper, that I met at podcampnyc. She's funny, smart and engaging. She does a show called 'Fearless Cooking.' She also has her pitch down cold, but it never comes off as a hard sell. She's figured out a way to deliver it at the right time and in a genuine right way. I think that's the key.
Jason White
· 2 years ago
I am not for the opening line. You know the saying about first impressions...well I am not a big beliver in that one either, but a line for me is an unatural fit.
My favorite is 'Hi I'm Jason' or just 'Hi'. 'Hello' works too. We probably won't remember each other's name first pass anyway and I like to finish our interaction with either saying your name ar just asking if I have it right and that usually affords you an opportunity to get mine right and then we can usually remember if we want further contact.
Also a BIG beliver in letting you talk, but what happens if we both come from the same school? Do we just stare at each other and get the other to talk?
Actually I think that when these two types get together it ends up being a very nice two way conversation.
I also try to keep a MASSIVE piece of spinach stuck in my teeth, I mean FRONT and CENTER that way you get a good laugh and I get to go What? What?! And then you help me out and we're off and running ;)
Alexa Scordato
· 2 years ago
Smile. It's a small thing, but it makes all the difference. It tells the other person that you're happy to be there and happy to be talking to him/her. Also, don't be shy! I made this mistake at podcamp with you. I wanted to introduce myself, but I didn't.
This post is really great and I love the fact that I'm reading it because of twitter. yay for web 2.0!
Bob LeDrew
· 2 years ago
Put yourself out there every time, and ASK QUESTIONS. Why are you here?
My personal problem with doing the networking thing? The smooth exit. Any tips out there, networking gurus?
Donna Papacosta
· 2 years ago
Great tips, Chris. And I know that you walk the talk. ;-)
Bob LeDrew, take your cue from George Costanza - leave on a high note; don't be the last person to go!
Audrey
· 2 years ago
Taking it one step back...
My networking tip is to simply leave the house and to get out of your cubicle. (I know, you were soliciting tips for what to do once you got to a networking event :) But for me I would rather ditch happy hours and lunches with co-workers and classmates and go ride a bike or run by myself or just watch downloaded tv. Seriously. I love my itunes.
But I've networked in the gym, at road races, waiting in line overnight to see Lance Armstrong, volunteering in the community, volunteering at conferences I (really) didn't feel like going to, at spin class, in the lobby of my building, at my apt building holiday party, etc. Actually, all of this makes me wonder what I've missed out on when I did hole up at home! I have to force myself to mingle, but once I'm interacting with others the battle is half won.
Christopher S. Penn
· 2 years ago
Think about position, about where you are in the room. Don't paint yourself into a corner unless you want to be in that corner for a while - remember the bar at PodCamp Toronto? That corner served its purpose.
Body language is key - and while you can't control the other person's, you can definitely control your own. Try this sometime - if you're talking to someone and you're on axis - meaning noses pointed at each other, move off axis and pull one side back, so that you're at an oblique angle to the other person. It's very uncomfortable and weird, and can do more to end a conversation than more subtle cues.
Mind control exercises work, too. If the person you're talking to is really passionate about something, immediately listen more carefully and find ways to link it to your own experiences, so that you can match their energy and tempo. Likewise, if the person is not someone you want to be around, break the rhythm of their speech - shifting weight, flat out not looking at them, or changing your mental imagery to be less engaging and more "target assessing" and that will shut down all but the most oblivious.
Phil Gerbyshak
· 2 years ago
Great tips Chris. I agree with Bob: I'd say work on some great, open-ended questions to ask, so you can find out more about the other person, and that can help you determine if they are a fit for you, as well as whether or not you can help fill any of their voids. As you said, it is NOT all about me, it's all about you.
jeffpulver
· 2 years ago
Know your Role.
Are you the host or a guest? I would much rather be the host of a networking reception than a guest because being the host (or co-host) gives you the ability (some might say the responsibility ) to reach out and say hello to everyone in the room. This means that as the event host, you should feel comfortable being out front and networking with everyone at the event.
Kary Rogers
· 2 years ago
This is great information. PodCamp Atlanta was my first foray into this type of setting. It was fun but I was totally unprepared. I was there because I had been asked to be on a videoblogging panel and because I wanted learn. But I quickly realized the opportunity to connect with other people who are as passionate as I am about creating and new media. Everyone had cards and other nifty things to give to people they met. I went back to my hotel room after the social mixer on Friday night, fired up Photoshop and then googled a Kinko's. By 8am the next morning, I had something to let people take home with them.
I learned a lot at PodCamp Atlanta and now I'm looking for a more video-centric conference/un-conference/festival/gathering to attend. Pixelodeon maybe? Or VloggerCon if it happens.
Cheers
P.S. Chris, I'm glad I found your blog, it always has something interesting to learn or think about =)
Kathy
· 2 years ago
Intro: I just say my name and what my business is. I'm known to be a good listener and a "connector." The conversation may be business or personal, but I try to find something in their conversation about what they need and then connect them: "hey, I was just talking to someone last week about that and he had some interesting ideas. Would you like me to introduce you to him?" Helping someone with something they need is always memorable.
Business cards: I always, always carry some of mine in my shirt pocket (not in a holder or other place hard or time-consuming to get to--sometimes you only have a few seconds). I've networked at Starbucks, Costco, even Walmart. You never know where you'll strike up a conversation and connect.
What I do with them: I always have a pen with me, easy to whip out and use. I write on the back of their card (later) where I met them, special interests, what it was they said they needed and who I need to connect them with. Then I follow up the next day or two by making that connection. Speed is essential--two weeks later is too late. The business cards ride around in my pocket until I do something with them, and since I change my shirt every day, I see those cards to remind me to take care of them.
Unmemorable people: those who only give me their name, business card, company and sales pitch and then move on. In this case, it IS all about THEM.
Easton Ellsworth
· 2 years ago
Two ears, one mouth. Listening is greater than talking.
Great thread here - thanks for rolling this ball, Chris.
AndyCast Andy
· 2 years ago
this is one case where quality will alway win over quantity.
Michael Bailey
· 2 years ago
@Bob LeDrew - I never really thought about it in those terms, but generally what I realize is that there are many other people who need a chance to meet with the people that I am currently talking with.
I've recently just been saying something like, "Well, it was great getting a chance to meet you, but should mingle some more with others."
Then I look around and ask them if there is anyone they would like to be introduced to.
All Comments
I don't mean wear a silly tie or tell racist jokes. I mean be someone I want to remember. You can do that by being knowledgeable, or funny, or charming, or a combination of all of the above.
I'm talking to people because I want to meet people I want to work with. If I want to work with you, it means I want to spend part of my exceedingly busy life with you.
Be someone worth my time. Be memorable.
Oh, sorry - wrong thread.
It's about being memorable. People remember me, and I have a good enough memory to remember them. Plus, I cheat and write down stuff about them on the card, if I need to jog my memory.
Listen, listen, listen! Find the passion and listen. Keep asking questions until you click, and the conversation will run off on its own.
Nowadays, I just smile and nod a lot, at first. Then I talk 'em into a stupor, but about things THEY bring up so I'll know they like hearing the sound of MY voice since it's a least rapping about something THEY like.
Actually, most of the time, I'm just darn happy as a pig in sh*t to be outta the house and meeting new people. People are infinately fascinating, as long as you don't have to take 'em home with you that is.
Business cards are not baseball cards, where it's all about collecting them; it is only a tool, so rather than sticking a hammer into someone's face, wait until you get to a point in the conversation where exchange of information seems natural and important, and use them then to avoid digging for pens.
I'm a lucky guy knowing all of you. I'm aware of that today. Very.
Thank you.
Front pocket for people I "connect" with and the back pocket for the rest.
Sometimes the system does not work due to a few too many glasses of red wine. So the following day I sort into one follow up pile and one no mans land pile.
Chris do you remember what pocket I used for you? ;)
The ones I love are the ones that are not about business directly (SqueakFest is an example http://weeklysqueak.wordpress.com/2007/03/22/sq...)
The people that attend are really there to learn and truely share. They are energized! They have cool ideas. And it's fun:)
The events I disslike: chamber of commerce meetings. It's all about the business pitch, the product, the need to get people to buy buy buy. I don't go any more.
John
And I'm especially pleased to see being genuine emphasized. I don't think you can underscore that too much, whether it's considered a given or not.
-Jon
My favorite is 'Hi I'm Jason' or just 'Hi'. 'Hello' works too. We probably won't remember each other's name first pass anyway and I like to finish our interaction with either saying your name ar just asking if I have it right and that usually affords you an opportunity to get mine right and then we can usually remember if we want further contact.
Also a BIG beliver in letting you talk, but what happens if we both come from the same school? Do we just stare at each other and get the other to talk?
Actually I think that when these two types get together it ends up being a very nice two way conversation.
I also try to keep a MASSIVE piece of spinach stuck in my teeth, I mean FRONT and CENTER that way you get a good laugh and I get to go What? What?! And then you help me out and we're off and running ;)
This post is really great and I love the fact that I'm reading it because of twitter. yay for web 2.0!
My personal problem with doing the networking thing? The smooth exit. Any tips out there, networking gurus?
Bob LeDrew, take your cue from George Costanza - leave on a high note; don't be the last person to go!
My networking tip is to simply leave the house and to get out of your cubicle. (I know, you were soliciting tips for what to do once you got to a networking event :) But for me I would rather ditch happy hours and lunches with co-workers and classmates and go ride a bike or run by myself or just watch downloaded tv. Seriously. I love my itunes.
But I've networked in the gym, at road races, waiting in line overnight to see Lance Armstrong, volunteering in the community, volunteering at conferences I (really) didn't feel like going to, at spin class, in the lobby of my building, at my apt building holiday party, etc. Actually, all of this makes me wonder what I've missed out on when I did hole up at home! I have to force myself to mingle, but once I'm interacting with others the battle is half won.
Body language is key - and while you can't control the other person's, you can definitely control your own. Try this sometime - if you're talking to someone and you're on axis - meaning noses pointed at each other, move off axis and pull one side back, so that you're at an oblique angle to the other person. It's very uncomfortable and weird, and can do more to end a conversation than more subtle cues.
Mind control exercises work, too. If the person you're talking to is really passionate about something, immediately listen more carefully and find ways to link it to your own experiences, so that you can match their energy and tempo. Likewise, if the person is not someone you want to be around, break the rhythm of their speech - shifting weight, flat out not looking at them, or changing your mental imagery to be less engaging and more "target assessing" and that will shut down all but the most oblivious.
Are you the host or a guest? I would much rather be the host of a networking reception than a guest because being the host (or co-host) gives you the ability (some might say the responsibility ) to reach out and say hello to everyone in the room. This means that as the event host, you should feel comfortable being out front and networking with everyone at the event.
I learned a lot at PodCamp Atlanta and now I'm looking for a more video-centric conference/un-conference/festival/gathering to attend. Pixelodeon maybe? Or VloggerCon if it happens.
Cheers
P.S. Chris, I'm glad I found your blog, it always has something interesting to learn or think about =)
Business cards: I always, always carry some of mine in my shirt pocket (not in a holder or other place hard or time-consuming to get to--sometimes you only have a few seconds). I've networked at Starbucks, Costco, even Walmart. You never know where you'll strike up a conversation and connect.
What I do with them: I always have a pen with me, easy to whip out and use. I write on the back of their card (later) where I met them, special interests, what it was they said they needed and who I need to connect them with. Then I follow up the next day or two by making that connection. Speed is essential--two weeks later is too late. The business cards ride around in my pocket until I do something with them, and since I change my shirt every day, I see those cards to remind me to take care of them.
Unmemorable people: those who only give me their name, business card, company and sales pitch and then move on. In this case, it IS all about THEM.
Great thread here - thanks for rolling this ball, Chris.
I never really thought about it in those terms, but generally what I realize is that there are many other people who need a chance to meet with the people that I am currently talking with.
I've recently just been saying something like, "Well, it was great getting a chance to meet you, but should mingle some more with others."
Then I look around and ask them if there is anyone they would like to be introduced to.