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Giovanna Garcia
You are absolutely correct, though, that the differences between public speaking and effective conversations are minimal. The key is to reflect upon both against a preconceived notion of what a "win" looks like. In your case at the social level, that will be getting the phone number. As you move on to bigger exercises, you'll need to establish your goals beforehand, and find test audiences who are willing to give you honest, forthright feedback about the presentation, your mannerisms, and the flow of the speech.
You'll have to forgive my ramblings, in the process of putting the finishing touches of our own speaker engagement model, so this is very top-of-mind for me at the moment.
I have my own thoughts, but I want to see how you handle that.
I don't (and didn't) mean to imply that the mechanics of public speaking aren't important at all - certainly if you want to make it a part of your career, then you need to work on all aspects. And perhaps this will descend to chicken-and-egg, but I maintain that no amount of speaking prowess will help you if you have nothing interesting to say and no reason to be there.
Fundamentally, pick up is power over yourself, not over others. Public speaking (which I have done as well) is very similar: lead yourself emotionally, with authenticity, the audience will follow along.
Those traits can make you a better public speaker ... it's definitely no guarantee, but without them you'd be hurtin' for certain.
by the way ... i love the creative idea to get better at public speaking through "picking up women" ... to funny.
@chrisbrogan ... thanks for hosting people that have interesting things to share!
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http://twitter.com/franswaa
Nice article!
.\\ike
I find that when I'm out and about in my every day life and I don't "turn it on" I'm don't attract women so much however when I'm speaking It seems that my characteristics are like a magnet to women.
I'm not the most good looking guy and I'm 5'4, so not exactly Mr. Talk Dark and Handsome. However the characteristics you talked about are on full display when I speak and they, by gosh, work.
For me, it is one of the best articles I have read on this blog for a long, long time.
Thanks Chris.
In a way this was a very difficult thing for me to do, because I don't really like a lot of attention drawn to myself. I took creativity, and a whole LOTTA nerve to enter this video in his video campaign. Dean has taught me that being quite or uncontraversial will not get your site attention online.
I guess what I am saying is I think Dean has everything it takes to be a great speaker or pickup artist, by being himself. I just want to let Dean know that all of his readers have confidence in him and we are his own personal cheering section, as he tackles his fear of public speaking.
When giving tips like this I think we can assume that great content is the aim of the person giving the presentation. It's like marketing, most courses don't start with "have a great product," they assume you've got that bit covered.
And as for the content vs presentation debate. I think presentation is still more important. I was given a book by Jay Abraham (legendary marketer) that apparently sells for $500 and glancing through it I know it's filled with great content. But it's sitting on my bookshelf after I got bored with it. His presentation style, while great for some, just didn't float my boat and hence the content meant nothing to me.
Hence I agree with Phil on that, great content/bad presentation is bad news for all concerned.
Just a note about public speakers that I have thought were awesome: The ones who entertained me and made me laugh, while also being giving me good content. (Ze Frank, www.zefrank.com)
The ones that were passionate about what they talk about and are excited to share their knowledge. (Wil Reynolds, www.wilreynolds.net, and www.thinkseer.com)
Ones who have a contagious charisma. (Gary Vaynerchuck, http://garyvaynerchuk.com)
Each one of these have traits of someone who could be a good pickup artist. Girls love guys who make them laugh, have charisma, but also are intelligent men.
My honest opinion, Dean Hunt, has the ability to be right up here with these speakers. There is something about Dean Hunts blog that keeps me coming back, I am sure if he were speaking, I would be on the front roll. Dean is down to earth, not afraid to experiment with his ideas, entertaining, and he sure knows what he is talking about. I would expect Dean to get the people listening to him, involved in his presentations just as he gets his readers involved in his blog. I would expect his presentation to be very interactive with the audience.
Just be who you are, and you will be okay in both the speaking world and dating world.
The analogy okay as far as it goes but as a trainer for people who want to do public speaking, I've got to ask where it takes them. The important thing, I would have thought, is to instil the techniques/skills/mindset/whatever, not just draw attention to the similarities. :)
Okay, more seriously, I think there's also a big difference between public speaking and "chatting up" in that what you're selling in your chatting up is, essentially, yourself. You are your own content. On the other hand, in public speaking you are just the medium, not the message (or at least if you are, you're too egotistical for my liking!). In public speaking it's not about you (sorry, but it's not!) - it's about what you've got to say and it's about your message... your content.
Eliding the two things is certainly a bit of a problem for a lot of our clients, who think that people are there to see/hear/judge *them* when they make a presentation.... In fact no one comes to hear me speak, they come to hear a speach on X, Y or Z.
S
For more help, please see this site:
http://www.nosweatpublicspeaking.com/