chrisbrogan.com - Latest Comments in Considering Social Network Etiquette

Re: Considering Social Network Etiquette

electrical wholesalers — Sat, 24 Mar 2012 08:25:51 -0000

Make sure you come across in the way you would expect to be treated in the offline world. Manners are key to getting well respected.

Re: Considering Social Network Etiquette

Door Handles — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 12:04:46 -0000

This is where you must make a lasting impression early on so you are not then remembered for all of the incorrect reasons

Re: Considering Social Network Etiquette

gucci new jackie — Mon, 16 Aug 2010 20:02:23 -0000

I agree with what Dean said about privacy and what people put on social networking profiles or what they add to updates on Twitter. Like him, I'm amazed sometimes at what people will add to their profiles, including addresses, cell phone numbers, detailed running commentaries about one's whereabouts, compromising photos, etc.

Whenever someone adds something to their profile, or adds a friend, they need to understand that no matter what their privacy setting is, they are broadcasting that information to the world.

Re: Considering Social Network Etiquette

BucK — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 09:11:45 -0000

We are a non profit organization. If we ask, for example, @twitcause--a group that does not follow us (yet) on twitter to R/T a message for us, is this appropriate or spammish ? We are currently earning a $250 matching grant of $.01 for each R/T @globalchangeme www.globalchange.me #hippoxmas

Re: Considering Social Network Etiquette

Amy Leigh — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 14:40:11 -0000

Joined Twitter immediately after posting the comment above that I didn't "have time" for it! o_O

Re: Considering Social Network Etiquette

Amy Leigh — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 14:34:29 -0000

I have been grappling with this for some time, and I have recently been forced to confront some dicey first-time personal obstacles through the social networking, specifically FB. I think Whitney really nailed it- if you wouldn't do it in person, etc...problem is, individuals have decidedly different ideas about what is apparently socially acceptable, online and off.

The sad fact is that the careless comments of others leave you, the hapless recipient, in the unfortunate spot of having to respond and discuss with them directly why their online behavior has made you uncomfortable. Done gently, this can work out fine. Increasingly, though, I feel that that I am going to have to sacrifice the utility that I sought from a social networking site (eg, I want all friends to see comments to my photos, because many of them share activity X with me, and it may be relevant/appreciated by them), because one idiot thinks that's an appropriate place to put very personal and private comments that should not exist in the public forum (and had already been told so, grrr).

While not directly in regard to etiquette, I will add that I am hesitant to add Twitter to my communication palette. i simple already feel I cannot keep up with the exchanges in front of me- this feeling prompted recently by Skype, which I now perpetually appear as "not available", simply because this does not equate to "endlessly available"!

Re: Considering Social Network Etiquette

JT McWilliams — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 23:58:56 -0000

Hi Chris,
Enjoyed your comments, like the "feel" of your writing style...it's informative, you come across as an humble expert.

I'm a non-techie entrepeneur researching, contemplating, and trying to comprehend the power of social networking. It's a daunting task to consider because the concept is so cavernous and multi-faceted it's hard to know where to begin. The first task is proving to be the most difficult for me, and that is trying to figure out what I want to achieve with the various social networking tools, and can I successfully brand myself to achieve that end.

Whew!!!

Anyway, if I can figure out how to follow you on Twitter I will...or subcribe to this blog, I will. Thanks for your insight.

JT McWilliams
Auctioneer

Re: Considering Social Network Etiquette

Ronelle Coburn — Sun, 21 Sep 2008 21:39:47 -0000

Thanks for being the Dear Abby for social networking!

I googled to try and find twitter etiquette guidelines to see what I can find about someone who is in your network who is twittering too much (17 times in an hour) about nothing (blow-by-blow of the Emmy's) and knocking everyone else's twitter off the screen! Was hoping to find a link to an etiquette article which addresses this and twitter it so said person would get the hint without my openly offending them.

Re: Considering Social Network Etiquette

Pete — Fri, 14 Sep 2007 05:46:10 -0000

My own feelings are you are not responsible for this

Re: Considering Social Network Etiquette

chrisbrogan — Tue, 17 Jul 2007 15:54:00 -0000

Let me make sure I get it, Ally: someone you know added YOUR friends, and she's really only connected to them through you. Right? And she's met them maybe once ever in real life.

And now, on MySpace/FB whatever, she's giving them all kinds of smooches and things?

My thought is this: You didn't facilitate them getting to know each other (the way LinkedIN requires someone to pass on an invite). And so you're not exactly responsible for her behavior.

That just might be her version of being cordial. No worries. If your friends hit you with comments or mail saying she's weird, agree. Say, "Yep, that's just how Jezabel does what she does."

No harm. No foul. Now, on LINKEDIN, that's different. Over there, it's your dumb fault for connecting them. Be VERY wary of your reputation there, because over there, it WAS your choice to connect those two.

Make sense?

Re: Considering Social Network Etiquette

Ally — Tue, 17 Jul 2007 15:18:04 -0000

My question is, what is the etiquette with friends and friends of friends? I have a female friend who has added all of my other friends (a large percentage of whom she has only met in passing, once) onto her MySpace and Facebook. I find it unnerving when she sends them comments like 'I miss you so much' considering she only met the person once...it was to the point where I had made plans with a friend and she got annoyed that she wasn't included - even though she only met the other person a handful of times. It's very annoying and I feel crowded and like I don't have my own space anymore. How to I tell her to back off my friends and give me some space, without having to delete her or quit MySpace/Facebook?

Re: Considering Social Network Etiquette

Cathleen Rittereiser — Mon, 09 Jul 2007 18:52:07 -0000

Chris,

Thanks for taking the lead and using your non-bully pulpit to open up the conversation about this topic, especially since it would be almost impossible to actually discuss on Twitter. I agree with the majority of your suggestions and those from commenters.
I do not sense any Alexander Haig, "I'm in charge here" attitude. In my mind, you have taken the lead on getting the community talking and acting so many times, you ARE the person that can bring up a sensitive topic in a thoughtful way. You're not roping off the sandbox, you're just suggesting a better way to play. That's fair.
Keep being a force for good.

Re: Considering Social Network Etiquette

Sam Grant — Mon, 09 Jul 2007 18:34:04 -0000

Hi Chris, great post and thanks for all the super tweets too.

Twitter is becoming useful in so many ways - as news feeder, friends connector, ideas distributor, discussion starter, opinion gatherer - and best of all, a cumulative 'social sixth sense', as expressed by Clive Thompson in Wired magazine (thanks to Neville Hobson for tweeting about this great article): http://www.wired.com/techbi...

In terms of etiquette, I'm finding it increasingly helpful when people use the same avatar image on various social networking sites. It's just easier to identify/locate them each time.

Re: Considering Social Network Etiquette

AndyCast Andy — Mon, 09 Jul 2007 14:52:24 -0000

Chris,

You always write such great stuff.
Twitter, for me, is as much a creative outlet as podcasting is. A chance for me to participate in a way that's most comfortable as an ongoing conversation. I've intentionally "misused" the @'s in tweets to let others find the people I find interesting. It's not always about playing by the given rules. Are we nothing more than sheep? All these different sites are tools in our arsenal for social behavior...isn't that what we all strive for..to make connections with people.

As for stalkers, they will always exist, some people are just more needy of attention for any number of reasons, but the best way is as you say Chris, drop them quietly with no fanfare. As Whitney implies, it's just as easy to be kind as it is to be mean...I doubt many of the a-holes are reading your blog...

Thanks for this Chris. You have an excellent way of sharing.

Andy Bilodeau
http://andycast.net

Re: Considering Social Network Etiquette

kimbayne — Mon, 09 Jul 2007 14:29:00 -0000

Excellent points, Chris. I especially enjoyed your 21st Century approach to "Dear John" letters ala Twitter.

BTW, I liked your post so much, I linked to it from the Twitter Fan Wiki.

http://twitter.pbwiki.com/T...

Re: Considering Social Network Etiquette

Jesse — Mon, 09 Jul 2007 14:28:54 -0000

Another question: what should be the rule about replying to @'s & DM's? Is it rude not to acknowledge these?

Re: Considering Social Network Etiquette

Daniel Johnson, Jr. — Mon, 09 Jul 2007 14:28:36 -0000

As an early adopter of Twitter, I used to get uptight when I saw the proliferation of '@' messages. Now I get it.

My purpose in using Twitter has changed over the months since I started using it. I now use it to participate in conversation, let others know what's going on with me, point to content too large on Twitter, and make/keep in touch with friends.

I've especially enjoyed finding people in my own geographic area through TwitDir.com, and I hope that I can connect through other online means and even meet up with more friends locally in person.

I've decided to use Twitter and other social networks to for relationship-building and personal branding, so knowing how to "take the pulse" of the current climate of a social network is something of value.

Re: Considering Social Network Etiquette

Susanna — Mon, 09 Jul 2007 13:58:00 -0000

On Twitter, which tends to be more casual and voyeuristic, I don't ask fans how I know them - I just assume they are a FOAF or saw my tweets on the public timeline.

On something like Facebook or MySpace, I would ask where I know the person from, not to be confrontational but to put their profile in context. And when I make a friend request on Facebook, MySpace, or LinkedIn, I always try to let that person know how I know them if I think there might be any question. It's a courtesy that saves them wondering who I am and makes it easier for them to decide whether to friend me or not.

Re: Considering Social Network Etiquette

UJ — Mon, 09 Jul 2007 13:18:24 -0000

My reply is long.

http://urlant.com/2yfbm7

Re: Considering Social Network Etiquette

Jason Wehmhoener — Mon, 09 Jul 2007 13:13:44 -0000

I have a personal preference for "open" communities like Twitter for socialization. Invites seem necessary for business communication, but feel too "exclusive" in social situations. I always feel a little put out when someone asks "how do I know you?" in Twitter. The answer (for me) is sometimes simply "I found your page through another friend and I liked your tweets". I don't go down to the local pub when I need a job, and I wouldn't expect a prospective employer to allow me to walk right in, sit down and start chatting everyone up at the office.

With all that being said, I really like the use of @ in Twitter. It's like a party, and @ lets you overhear people's conversations, so you can decide if you want to jump in, and maybe introduce yourself to someone new. Direct messages, invites, privacy, exclusivity, I see these as necessary for business, but a total drag for socialization.

Re: Considering Social Network Etiquette

Tamara Kirshner — Mon, 09 Jul 2007 13:09:26 -0000

Chris:

I've been told that I tend to be abrasive in some social networking situations. Yeah, I kind of am, but that's my personality. I try to be careful, but sometimes I just let something fly.

Anyway, I believe that if you post a comment to someone's blog and they decide they don't like it and subsequently delete it, they should address any response to you privately through email. However, should the blogger choose to respond to you publicly (i.e. through another comment or blog post), they should leave your original comment.

Recently, I responded to a post on an entertainer's website and this person didn't like what I said. The entertainer not only deleted my post, but edited the original blog post. Rather than responding to me using the email address I had provided, the entertainer said something to me in a comment to the post. Basically, the entertainer left it to subsequent readers of the blog post and comments to assume that I'd said something pretty awful, as opposed to mildly insulting.

Sure, if you have a blog site, it's your site and you make the rules, but if your rules include being able to respond to people's comments even after they are deleted, perhaps you should post that policy so commenters will know about it beforehand.

Re: Considering Social Network Etiquette

cheryl colan — Mon, 09 Jul 2007 13:06:49 -0000

I'd like to see the question "Is it rude to ask “How do I know you?” in response to a friend request?" turned around into an etiquette point about how to add or follow people you don't know personally because you find their tweets/posts useful in some way. Would it be polite to direct message them in advance to let them know you're adding them and why, even though they don't know you?

Re: Considering Social Network Etiquette

Skye Lemmon — Mon, 09 Jul 2007 11:06:00 -0000

Great post, Chris!

Personally I like the use of @ in tweets. If people like you, Paull, CC and CSpenn hadn't used @s...I wouldn't have found half of the people I now have on my twitter friends list! One thing is looking at your friends' lists and see who they've added, but the @s give me more of an idea on who I would probably +like+ to add...based on the conversations I am seeing happening between you guys.

Re: Considering Social Network Etiquette

kitykity — Mon, 09 Jul 2007 10:23:29 -0000

I actually agreed with everything you wrote, your own answers. If I have a person I don't feel like following on twitter anymore, I just drop them silently, not start a ruckus over it. Also, if someone is making me uncomfortable, I do the same--silently and without fanfare, as you said. Now as far as setting up a new account on twitter/pownce/facebook, I did so one friend at a time--I don't believe in the address book dump. I tend to get my point across better online than I do in person--I get in trouble in person all the time--I guess because online I have time to think about what I want to say, and say it correctly, as opposed to when I'm face-to-face with someone and don't have a lot of time to formulate my responses. Does that make sense?

Re: Considering Social Network Etiquette

bgavin — Mon, 09 Jul 2007 09:22:23 -0000

Interesting post, Chris, as usual.

I like that this was positioned as Etiquette and not as Rules. O'Reilly's Rules for Bloggers really annoyed some people. Etiquette somehow seems more in line with what we are trying to build here.

I wonder if it is worthwhile to talk about who you *friend*. Or are those annoying friend accumulators (esp on Facebook) not going to be paying attention?