Totally agree. there's always a choice to be made. Sometimes the phrase "I had no choice" really means that there was a balance between the easy way or passive way to go, and the difficult and potentially irreversible way to go. The Burning the Bridge choice versus some other option.
When I use the phrase "I had little choice" or "have no choice" usually means I'm backed into an uncomfortable corner and need to be a hard ass about something. I need to draw a line or a boundary. I've reached some limit of feasible options. And this is saying something, because I am famous for lateral solutions to problems.
If you really think you are out of options, you're not looking hard enough.
Matthew Cornell
· 2 years ago
Exactly. That's why it's not about time management, it's about action/choices; I prefer "self-management."
Choice has (at least) two implications:
1) Self-responsibility: Making conscious choices about our lives removes the excuse to be passive and then complain about it. Example: Not having an important but difficult conversation, then complaining about my relationship.
Another example: When I'm teaching clients best practices for personal productivity, it's *empowering*, for some of them too much so. (Not too many, thankfully - plunking down $$$ tends to clarify commitment.) For example, if I get my act together, I can no longer claim it's out of my hands, or it's somebody else's fault - I explicitly take responsibility. No necessarily comfortable initially, and may be a big change for folks...
2) Things *not* chosen, i.e., Mark Forster's "closed lists" - deciding to do something means you've decided not to do something else. For example, spending time watching TV -> not spending time with my daughter and wife...
kitykity
· 2 years ago
I have made the choice to not fight, to let what's going to happen happen. Things will work out in the end.
All Comments
When I use the phrase "I had little choice" or "have no choice" usually means I'm backed into an uncomfortable corner and need to be a hard ass about something. I need to draw a line or a boundary. I've reached some limit of feasible options. And this is saying something, because I am famous for lateral solutions to problems.
If you really think you are out of options, you're not looking hard enough.
Choice has (at least) two implications:
1) Self-responsibility: Making conscious choices about our lives removes the excuse to be passive and then complain about it. Example: Not having an important but difficult conversation, then complaining about my relationship.
Another example: When I'm teaching clients best practices for personal productivity, it's *empowering*, for some of them too much so. (Not too many, thankfully - plunking down $$$ tends to clarify commitment.) For example, if I get my act together, I can no longer claim it's out of my hands, or it's somebody else's fault - I explicitly take responsibility. No necessarily comfortable initially, and may be a big change for folks...
2) Things *not* chosen, i.e., Mark Forster's "closed lists" - deciding to do something means you've decided not to do something else. For example, spending time watching TV -> not spending time with my daughter and wife...