chrisbrogan.com - Latest Comments in Be Sexier in Person

Re: Be Sexier in Person

Bill Snyder — Sun, 11 Mar 2012 12:40:28 -0000

I know this is an old post, but I just reached it through a couple of links and wanted to add something to Finish Strong.

Knowing when to exit is key. We've all been there. We're talking to someone and finally have to "get another drink" or "use the restroom" in order to get away.

This reminds me of a blog post I read on dating, which, when you think about it, is somewhat similar. The advice was about meeting women in social environments — bars, parties, etc. (It was directed at men interested in women.) The writers (and I wish I still knew where the post was) said to watch her eyes. Is she making eye contact with you? Is she looking over your shoulder? Is she avoiding eye contact.

This works the same with networking events. Someone who is interested in continuing the conversation will be looking you straight in the eyes. Others may be looking over your shoulders, scanning the crowd, or simply avoiding your gaze. It doesn't mean the conversation wasn't a good one, just that it is over.

At a recent event, I was chatting with a woman from Microsoft. We just happened to end up standing next to each other and a comment turned into a conversation. After a while, her eyes glanced over my shoulder and there was a look of recognition. By paying attention, it wasn't hard to figure out: someone she knew well was walking our way. That was the time to say, "It's been a pleasure talking with you." Exchange a card if you haven't. Then walk away.

Re: Be Sexier in Person

Phone Sex — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 12:59:32 -0000

Realize that being truly sexy to someone often has little to do with
how you look or smell. Being truly sexy comes through love and a
relationship, which should never be primarily based on physical
characteristics.

Re: Be Sexier in Person

lacoste online shop — Sun, 31 Jul 2011 06:40:17 -0000

Very helpful. I thought my posts were too brief, but based on your advice some of them could use trimming.

Re: Be Sexier in Person

youtube downloader — Tue, 07 Dec 2010 08:10:52 -0000

None of this is meant towards any particular person that I’ve met in the last several years. Instead, it’s meant towards me, some of you, and some people I observe in social settings. If you’ve recently met me, I don’t mean you.

Re: Be Sexier in Person

weeds season 6 — Thu, 16 Sep 2010 18:31:00 -0000

As for "be interested," know what bugs me? Crowd surfers. The ones who stop looking at you fairly quickly and start seeking their next target. I try my hardest to make sure you know you're the only person in the world at that moment. (What usually screws this up for me is if I'm waiting on something to come through on the phone).

Re: Be Sexier in Person

lv — Tue, 17 Aug 2010 05:18:09 -0000

Going back to the main point, an organization can function without actively creating community with its employees. It is vital, however, for companies to develop community with those who benefit from its products or services. Otherwise, how can you ensure repeat business?

Re: Be Sexier in Person

dennishahn — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 11:25:19 -0000

Thanks Chris, for another great topic and all the comments are awesome. I remember being invited to my first network meeting, I didnt know what to expect but I had a good idea. I did not feel sexy at all. I was nervous to start and went right to the refreshments and actually shook when pooring a cup of coffee, I finally took a seat, started to relax a little bit. I collected the atmosphere, it all got quiet and the speaker said we're going to start in the front row and everyone will have 60 seconds to introduce their self. I sat in the back of a small room of 58 intimidating people and said sunny beach, I couldnt run. lol, talk about a hot flash of reality! What a lesson to never forget!
Now I exercise and read before and focus on why I'm there, how to properly listen, learn, share and above all you be yourself. This all takes practice, and it helps to get out from behind your computer.

Re: Be Sexier in Person

Lauren — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 16:04:11 -0000

Confidence rules.............the challenge is finding the rule book.

Re: Be Sexier in Person

rockandrollmama — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 16:01:51 -0000

I knew I brought a Costco pack of Mentos to SXSW for a reason. See you Monday if not before- looking forward to GRTL.

Re: Be Sexier in Person

Angela Petersen — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 11:59:34 -0000

At any lull in the conversation, simply extend your hand and say, "It was great to meet you / catch up / see you again!" Works for me every time... :)

Re: Be Sexier in Person

Jenifer De La Garza — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 11:48:29 -0000

Stand up straight and do NOT chew gum! Great article!

Re: Be Sexier in Person

Jeremy — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 10:48:47 -0000

Love your article on being sexier in person. I used to have meeting new peeps, but I spoke to leadership guru John Maxwell told me why he is SO successful and being "sexier". He asks them, "what challenges are you facing right now"?. Most people love to talk about themselves and he listens (and cares). Of course, once you know what challenge is a really big deal to them - you can go about helping them to solve it. Win-win everytime. Great post Chris - I love your articles. Keep up the great writing. :)

Re: Be Sexier in Person

garysdavis — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 09:30:47 -0000

I think this is one of the best brief descriptions I have seen. I work with people on how to network, and they think there is a bunch of stuff they do not know, but really it is simple, nice job.

Re: Be Sexier in Person

benfitts — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 09:29:22 -0000

These might not work if you do a lot of conferences or shows... but if you do a lot of shows you probably don't need this advice.

One thing I like to do is get a haircut. It works for both genders. You feel more confident after you've gotten a great new haircut. I try to plan to get my haircut a week or so ahead of time. That way if there was a catastrophe with my hair I would have time to get it fixed before the event.

Another thing I do is buy a new item of clothing like a new shirt or shoes or whatever. It can make you feel more confident, and thus, more sexy. Or for guys... maybe you just get your shoes shined. I love the airport shoe shine guys.

Re: Be Sexier in Person

christinefantoni — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 09:14:49 -0000

I can tell yo want NOT to do. I was working away on a problem and called my boss over to ask him a question. He gave me the information that I needed, but kept hanging around talking--and I had work to do! Without really thinking about it, I looked at him (was trying the ignoring technique) and said "I am done with you now". His eyes got very round and fortunately he laughed! So, I guess "I am done with you now" is an option but use it with caution! :-)

Re: Be Sexier in Person

Pranav Bhasin — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 03:01:38 -0000

Wow, amazing that I found this post almost 2 years after you wrote it. This is great advice and does reflect some of the things that I've learnt the hard way ( read trial and error ) and some that I am yet to learn :).

Thanks again for sharing this.

Re: Be Sexier in Person

Brenda Thompson — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 20:02:39 -0000

Really glad I stumbled on this the day before SXSW starts! Now I'm looking forward more than ever to running into you.

Re: Be Sexier in Person

EmilyHaughey — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 21:28:13 -0000

Chris - I just found this post when I did a search for personal branding and social media. What a nice surprise that this was the first result. I'm going to SXSWi for the first time and this is great advice to keep in mind when I'm there. Thanks.

Re: Be Sexier in Person

Tommy Walker — Sat, 20 Feb 2010 11:32:31 -0000

Confidence goes a long way when it comes to face to face.

I'll admit that lately I'm one of the people Mike T is talking about who has been spending too much time communicating online.

Eye Contact, Active listening skills, some repetition, and owning your own work are some other points you can add here too.

Re: Be Sexier in Person

Mike T — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 20:55:24 -0000

Chris,

All excellent points. For some people, face to face comes naturally. For others, simply practicing face to face by going to a variety of events (not just in your industry) and seeking out conversation will build confidence. For many, too much time electronically communicating detracts from live personal skills. Reading a person's body language, listening to their tone and content are quite different than replying to an e-communication. There's no replacement for just getting out there and approaching people.

Re: Be Sexier in Person

Brendon David — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 01:15:14 -0000

So thrilled you wrote this post. Breath mints, unlike cologne, can never graduate to the "offensive" classification. You're breath can never be so fresh that it offends others, but your cologne and perfume can.

Re: Be Sexier in Person

Big Robby — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 07:50:19 -0000

Fun article. Something tells me the "Breath Matters" is directed to either someone in particular, or several people. I see why you put the disclaimer. Good stuff as usual.

Re: Be Sexier in Person

Poochee — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 23:34:36 -0000

Do what aussies do:

Being sexy: have a beer

End a conversation: Yell out 'hey', and walk away

How to maintain a conversation: keep asking questions about the other person, make them feel sexy.

Burp.

Re: Be Sexier in Person

axelle brown-videau — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 12:24:18 -0000

To answer your question, how to peel out of conversations when you're done and the other person is not? I look discretly around and try to find somebody I could introduce the person I am talking to.

Re: Be Sexier in Person

Sherry Kerr - Outdoor Media Re — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 11:22:53 -0000

Lots of helpful information here, including the comments! I'd add this: Before you approach someone, know your purpose and what you want to talk about. I work in the outdoor sports industry, and I regularly have people ask for appointments or approach me on the show floor, then stand there as if waiting for me to tap-dance. Awkward all around. If the purpose is simply to say hello, meet the person, and shake hands, that's fine. Do that, make a moment of small talk if you wish, then move on. Don't wait for them to entertain you.